


Navy Light

by Rotten_strawberries



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, I will probably add tags as I need to, M/M, Slow Burn, Substance Abuse, but buckle up this is a sad one, but there are a lot of symptoms of it that are mentioned, it isn't out right mentioned, persona 5 royal spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:41:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29032587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rotten_strawberries/pseuds/Rotten_strawberries
Summary: Life seems a bit more dull when it isn’t stealing hearts and catching bad guys. Going from being the talk of Japan back to living a normal life, in a small café in a hidden alleyway gives a large change of perspective, one that isn’t all that good. Akira, feeling like he peaked in high school, deals with the ups and downs of life, trying to find something to fill the void that the Phantom Thieves left when they were disbanded as well as the larger void that Akechi left when he disappeared.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. 0. Navy Light

**Author's Note:**

> Your smell makes me cry  
> And this shirt smells like you, so I hold it to my face  
> And I sleep with it  
> ‘Cause without you I’d cease to exist
> 
> \- Labyrinth Ear | Navy Light - 
> 
> \---
> 
> Hello, welcome to my first fanfiction in a very very long time. I don’t like very long introductions so I’ll try to make this short. I’ve been very into Persona 5 lately, and I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened to the Phantom Thieves after they disband, so this is my take on it. Well, it's my take and mostly how I interpret Akechi’s and Akira’s relationship. So in this world, I would say Akira and Akechi had something more going on than a friendship, but something less than a relationship during the 3rd semester! 
> 
> Just a quick warning - 
> 
> This story will deal with very heavy concepts and address a lot of the trauma that I think would linger after the fact, mostly with Akira and Akechi, but partly the others as well. I'm going to try to not make this story a complete downer, since I feel like stories that are continuously depressing can get hard to read, but this story will deal with serious topics and I’ll be going in with them heavily. I recommend you tread with caution if you’re uncomfortable with material like that. Mostly it will just be substance abuse, but if there’s anything else I’ll make sure to warn beforehand. 
> 
> BESIDES that serious warning, I hope you enjoy the story! 
> 
> Feedback is always recommended and appreciated! Just go easy on me, I am fragile haha

2 / 13

Akira hit the bed like a bag of rocks. His body sunk into the cheap mattress as he stared up at the ceiling, not able to process or comprehend much of anything besides the heater droning on in the corner of the room to keep out the winter cold. The party had ended not too long ago, and now he was by himself, trying to organize his thoughts as they flew into his mind one after another. His mind felt like lead and wanted to shut off, but there was too much going on that he couldn’t. He hadn’t been able to shut off his mind ever since the Phantom Thieves defeated Maruki, and now that he was back in his room at Leblanc, it was even worse than before. He knew should be happy, thrilled that it all worked out, that everyone he knew worked so hard to get him out of detention, and into the world again. Happy that he was able to have one last party with everyone, celebrating what they did. He should be, but his heart felt so empty. There was an empty space in his chest, and it felt heavy all at the same time. 

This was the end, there would be no more Phantom Thieves. No more life of crime, stealing corrupted adults' hearts.

_This is how it was supposed to be._

That’s all Akira could keep telling himself, but every time he thought about it, his eyes seemed to burn a little bit more, and he could feel despair running through his body. The knot in his throat getting a little bit tighter, before he’d take a deep breath and blink it all away. He couldn’t let himself fall apart this easily, not now. 

Eventually, Akira pushed himself for a distraction, for something to occupy his mind for enough time, so he pulled himself off the bed and stood back up and took in the scene of his room. It looked the exact same, albeit a little bit more dusty, as well as Morgana was absent. Not the brightest move on his part probably, but he couldn’t help but send the cat off to Futaba’s. Akira felt something dwelling in the bottom of his gut since he stepped foot into this café earlier today, and he didn’t want anyone to be here to experience it when it ended up making its way out of his body. Even though he knew it was inevitable, he was trying to push it off. Trying to find meaningless distractions that would only occupy his mind for a few seconds, before his train of thought would swing back to the matter at hand.

He knew all of this, yet he kept doing it. Scanning his room till his eyes landed on the TV perched on the edge of the table. The DVD case for the movie that he had been watching a few months ago, still half open on top of the player. The game console still had a cartridge inserted as well, the controllers hanging haphazardly off the arms of the couch. 

_Hmm, how about a game?_

The idea filled Akira's mind as he slowly walked towards the couch. It would keep his mind occupied long enough that he would be able to fall asleep with little to no problems after a few rounds. The screen would probably dry out his eyes enough that he’d have no choice but to keep them close after he was finished. 

  
  


Padding along the wooden floor, Akira stopped at the couch, and mindlessly reached out his hands to grab the junk that was cluttering it. It was mostly some blankets, and a pillow from the last time someone slept over. Besides that though, there was a pair of clothes neatly laid out, and while they would’ve looked fresh, laying in the same spot for a couple months on edge had led them to looking wrinkly and losing the crisp shape they once held. Still, Akira paid little mind to them, and picked them up to lazily toss them on the floor. 

Before he was able to though, something hit him,it was the smell of cologne.

But not his cologne…

Akechi’s.

It’s the smell and musk and sandalwood, with a hint of vanilla mixed in. It was subtle, but overwhelmed the shirt and pants that laid in his hands. It wafted through the air, and hit his nose one more time, sending a sense dread down to his core. Akechi. It was his scent. It was the last thing that Akira had of him. That was the one thing he was trying to think about. 

Suddenly Akira’s distraction seemed to be his downfall. 

Something that he was trying to avoid had just come to hit him in the face. The fact that Akechi wasn’t at the Phantom Thieves last celebration earlier. The fact that he hadn’t heard anyone say anything about him for months. It was the fact that everyone silently confirmed that Goro Akechi was dead. Life would continue on without him, in a reality that he made sure would happen because he couldn’t stand being controlled by anyone for any longer. 

Suddenly, a knot buried itself into Akira’s throat. growing by the second and it hurt so bad that it’s radiating throughout his body. He’s so close to letting it all out, but he can’t. Not yet, he’s not ready to let it loose. The second he breaks, he loses. He faces this reality for what it is, and how it’s the one that he willingly chose.

_I can’t lose, not yet._

The same thought kept repeating itself in his mind as he stared at the couch in front of him, concentrating on it more than he had ever concentrated on anything in his life. He couldn’t give it up, not now, he’s kept this act up for so long. 

Sadly as much as he tried, Akira’s lost. He couldn’t focus on the couch any longer. His eyes drift to the clothing in his hand and his mind flies back to the memories that they hold. The night he convinced Akechi to come over and unwind with him just a few days before sending the calling card to Makoto’s sister. How they sat at this very couch, playing chess like life long friends even though a few days later his very own team mate would betray him.

He remembers convincing Akechi to stay and giving him a spare pair of sweatpants and a cotton t-shirt. As they both changed in the frigid attic, he tried not to peek at Akechi, and the way his fingers delicately unthreaded the buttons through his shirt, or how his muscles stretched as he pulled it off his arms. He watched as Akechi tossed the piece of clothing so delicately onto the couch, laying it out neatly; and as he did so Akira caught the smirk at the edge of Akechi’s lips. After that Akira ended up whipping his head back around to change, trying to hide his reddening face. 

Akira offered him the bed, declaring that he would sleep on the couch instead, but somehow both of them ended up in his bed, squished together, huddling for warmth. The late November air wasn’t as cold as the air was now, but back then it seemed like a good enough excuse to find comfort in one another. In the morning, he remembers that Akechi barely made eye contact with him, they silently got ready for the day, Akira offering a fresh white shirt and black slacks to Goro before he left. At the moment he always thought that maybe they were too tired to say anything to one another; looking back at it, he wondered what was truly going on in Akechi’s mind at the moment. 

Even though he tried not to think about the memories, they came flooding back, hitting like a tidal wave and dragging him out to sea in the process. He didn’t even realize the heat radiating off his face, or how his vision was so blurred he can’t see straight. Not that it would matter because the only thing taking up his view is the white shirt, pressed so tightly to his face. He could feel his knees buckle under him, not even able to hold himself up as his weight crashed him down to the floor with a dull _thud._ All Akira could focus on in the moment was the heavy breathing and choked sobs bubbling up in his chest and out of his mouth. It was over and he was done for, he had let it out and there was no going back. His body shook with each sob, his knuckles were white as he kept the shirt clutched so tightly to his heart that in fear of if he ever let it go he would never see it again, that it would lose its scent and he would lose one of the last items of Goro that he had. 

If Akira was being honest, he couldn't tell why he was crying in the moment. He didn't know if it was the fact that his escapades had finally come to a close and he would have to return to his dull life of a high schooler; or if he was crying for just Akechi and no one else. The pain he suffered all his life and how he worked so hard to be recognized and loved. Was he crying for how he could feel the loneliness radiating off the detective prince, even though he couldn't go out in public without peace? Or was he crying for himself and the fact he couldn't do more? Crying for how both of them fought so hard to be the same side of a single coin and when Akira came out victorious he couldn't help but feel guilty. Of course, he didn't come out victorious, there had yet to be another duel, it wasn't over yet. But until they could meet again, and have a rematch, Akira would cry for him.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, but as time ticked along at a crawling pace, he could feel his knees start to cramp up, bruises blossoming on his knees from the long period of time they spent digging into the wooden floor. His knuckles throbbed and now there was a dull ache running through him. It started in the center of his chest and radiated out, making his whole body feel like it had been slammed against a wall. Even through all the pain and heartache, it was only the exhaustion rolled through him in waves that pulled Akira from his breakdown. His sobs quieted to soft hiccups as he pulled himself up from the ground, using the sleeve of his shirt to dry his eyes, only for more tears to be replaced. 

He didn’t want to deal with this, he didn't need this right now. He wanted to go back to the days at the hangout, planning their next big big heist. He wanted to walk into Leblanc and see Goro's deceiving smile, welcoming him home from a long day out. He missed the days of sitting in class, writing out fighting strategies in his notebook only to practice them in momentos after school. He couldn't though, because it was all in the past, and it was all over. Akira ‘ _knew’_ this but he couldn't accept it at the moment. Every time he remembered it, it felt like another punch in the gut that sent another choked sob out of his body, straight out into the quiet attic. 

Slowly, Akira shuffled back to his bed, collapsing under the covers and clutching the fabric to his chest he tried to clear his mind, to think about the exhaustion consuming him and to hope that sleep would come in mere seconds so his mind would quiet down. No such pleasure was brought to him though. He laid there in bed, tears streaming down his face, reminiscing on the past year, how he wanted it back. All good things come to an end, but he wished it lasted longer, he wished something that made him feel so alive could've stayed by his side longer. Now that it had disappeared he was left with a hole and only a shirt to remember it by.

...

It was at sunrise when Akira awoke, barely realizing he had fallen asleep mid break down the night before. It was too early to be up, and his body hurt too much to move, so he laid there, letting his eyes flutter close once more. But before he was able to fall back asleep, Akira felt something warm pressed up against his chest and as he wrapped his arm around it he could feel the black ball of fur breathing deeply against him. 

3 / 20

"Do you have everything?" Morgana's voice spoke up, as he sat there perched on the table by the stairs.

Akira took one last look at his room, the room that would soon be no longer his. It was bare and empty now, all memorabilia taken off the shelf and shipped back to his house. The blankets were folded and set neatly on the bare bed, while his tool kit that rested on the workbench in the corner was now packed away into his suitcase that he gripped tightly in his hand.

"Yeah." Akira nodded in return, not in the mood to say much as he kept looking over the room to make sure he had everything.

"Even everything under the couch and bed? I don't remember looking under there." The cat announced loudly and jumped off the table.

His paws walked along the floor as he made his way into all the nooks and crannies that Akira would've never thought about looking and it was debatable if he could even fit in them. As Morgana did his rounds, Akira rested his back against the railing, body feeling exhausted even though he had barely woken up. He wanted to crawl back into that matters and never leave, but he had a train to catch and a home to go back to. A home that felt so distant after his year here-

"Aha-! See you did miss something!" Morgana exclaimed loudly from under the couch. There was a pause as he grabbed the item between his teeth and pulled it back out to the middle of the floor.

"See! What would you do without me? You would've gone home with only one glove, making the pair use- wait...this isn't your glove." While the cat sounded so sure of himself in the start, his voice stuttered in the end as he finally realized what he found.

"That's...Akechi's right? When did you get this?" 

There was another pause that fell over the room, this time it was a bit more tense. Akechi has barely been brought up since Akira got back. Part of it was because the other thieves didn’t care much for him after the stunt he pulled, but he felt like another part of it was them not wanting to reopen old wounds since they knew how close him and Akira were. When Morgana said his name it was true that Akira felt his stomach plummet, but it was brief and over right as it started. He needed to toughen up, he couldn’t be hurt every time someone said his name anymore. Akechi was gone and he would have to start living like it. 

Still, his eyes went wide at the glove laying on the ground. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed it was gone, or that he forgot about it in the first place. To think that he would let an important thing to him slip through his fingers due to his carelessness. There were times when he really wouldn’t know what he would do without Morgana. 

“A while go,” Akira finally spoke up, kneeling down to pick up the glove and shove it in his pocket, holding it tightly in his hand. “It was to keep a promise.”

“Mmmm,” Morgana hummed in a way to show his acknowledgment. “Well, I think that’s actually everything. We should get going, you don’t want to miss you train! I have to say I’m pretty excited about seeing what your home is like!”

The subject changed quickly and Akira welcomed it. He didn’t necessarily want to talk about his home life though. Still, it was better than talking about Akechi, and he’d take a dull topic over one that would bring memories back that he wasn’t ready to face. 

“It’s not that special.” Akira smirked, waving off his statement as he opened the bag for his furry companion to jump into.

“Well you let me decide that!”

Suddenly the air seemed lighter, and Akira was able to let a deep breath out of his lungs into the empty room. He glanced around one last time before picking up his suitcase and making his way downstairs. He took his time down the steps, making sure to take in the smell of coffee and curry enveloping the cafe, he made sure to remember the sound of the kitchen pittering away in the back and the morning news that played every single day. Leaving felt so bittersweet, and the idea was still in the back of his mind to refund his train ticket and enroll back in Shujin, for the thought of leaving this place was almost too hard to bear. 

“Are you all ready to go?” A gruff voice spoke up from the counter, and Akira’s head popped up to meet Sojiro’s. The seniors' eyes looked just a bit kinder than they did any other day. 

Akira nodded in response, not exactly feeling up for talking anymore than he had too. 

“I was going to wake you up earlier for one last meal, but I thought you should sleep in since you have a long day ahead of you. Instead I took the liberty of preparing you something for the train.” Sojiro’s actions were just as awkward as they usually were when he tried to show affection. His arm was up behind his head, scratching at the hair at the back of his neck, as he stared down at the counter in front of him. 

On the counter there was a to go container, it seemed to be filled with curry and on the side was a to go cup, filled with coffee. There was even a plastic utensil set sitting on top. It was ready for the road.

“It probably won’t be as good as here in the cafe since it’ll be cold by the time you’re able to eat it, but I thought it was better than nothing. I wanted to send you home with something.”

Akira was speechless as he walked over to the counter, with gentle hands he picked up the food in front of him and held it to his chest. He was torn with either eating it the second he got on the train to savor it’s last warmth or to save it for a midnight snack once he was back at his home to have a little piece of the city with him so far away. He didn’t know what he’d do, but he decided not to make a decision quite yet and tucked the container away safely in his bag, while holding the coffee cup in one hand. 

“Now get out of here, that curry’s getting cold.”

A bright smile erupted on Akira’s face and he just nodded once saying his last words before parting. 

“Thank you for everything.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He quickly waved off the statement, turning his eyes back down towards the counter. 

Akira took that as his cue to leave. He stood there for one second longer, breathing the scent of freshly ground coffee beans one last time before making his way out of the cafe and to the city streets. Just like in Leblanc, he took his time, walking slowly and letting every step resientate through his body as he took in the scenery one last time, capturing one last memory to imprint in his mind. 

...

It’s past dinner time when Akira’s train arrives. His parents picked him up from the train station and the 3 of them rode together in silence on the way back to his small house tucked into the countryside. While his parents asked him questions, they were sparse and far between. It was small talk you would make with a stranger you met at a party, and not one that you would make with your son that you hadn’t seen in a year. Akira was used to it though, letting the brunt of the interaction roll off his shoulders as he stared out the window. 

As the car drove down the road it was covered in darkness, with only stray street lamps illuminating it every now and then. The car was filled with emptiness, from the darkness, to the silence with only a radio station mumbling quietly in the background, it all felt void of life. Not even his parents were talking to each other, they all just watched out the window, all watching the same thing. Eventually, someone opened their mouth like they were about to speak, Akira could tell from the quiet inhale of air. 

“I’m glad that you had a good time in the city, but is the cat really necessary?” His father grumbled from the front seat, his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, probably out of frustration. 

“It’s said that pets are good for your emotional health, plus it teaches responsibility. I think it’s a good thing for him to have something to take care of. Just make sure you’re the one feeding it, and don’t let it go into our bedroom.” His mother spoke, listing off a few other restrictions for Morgana to uphold to. 

Morgana let out a huff in return. Speaking his own mind with a few choice words, though Akira ignored him. He couldn’t exactly talk to a cat in front of his parents like he could in front of Sojiro.

“It sure is noisy though. Just make sure it doesn’t get too loud after we go to bed.”

Once again the car fell into silence. It was better this way. 

...

“We ate dinner before picking you up, but there’s still some left on the stove. It should probably be warm. I have an early meeting tomorrow, and your father has been at work all day so we’re going to turn in early. I placed a fresh pair of sheets on your bed and dusted your room.” Akira’s mother spoke up the second they entered the house. She was removing her coat and hanging it up on the rack as she talked, not even taking a second to acknowledge that Akira was home. 

“It’s a busy week for us, but hopefully we can go out for dinner at the end of the week when it’s all over. But I love you, goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Akira whispered back, mostly out of politeness. 

His father waved him goodnight, and before he knew it, both his parents had retreated back to their bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

Akira stood in the doorway of his house, taking in the old familiar scent of laundry detergent and incense. It had been awhile since he had smelt anything like it, but unlike Leblanc, it didn’t hold any nostalgia and his heart didn’t ache like it did when he thought of the cafe. Kneeling down to remove his shoes, Akira held in a sigh. He untied his shoes and set them by the door, as well as set his bag on the ground for Morgana to hop out. 

Morgana stepped out almost instantly, his body sore from laying in the same position all day. The second he was free, the cat arched up, doing the iconic cat stretch and he even let out a small yawn. Akira thought Mona was being uncharastically quiet, but seeing how tired he was, maybe it was just exhaustion. Though, he had a feeling that wasn’t quite it. 

After being left alone the night ran rather smoothly. Akira made his bed, unpacked the clothes from his suitcase back into his dresser, and heated up the curry that Sojiro had made him earlier in the day before retreating back to his room for the night to sit at his desk and eat. 

Just like his room at Leblanc, there was a small TV on his desk, it had a more modern game console attached to it and on the shelf to the side there were a few games and movie titles. For the moment he didn’t feel in the mood to watch anything, so Akira turned on the TV to a random station and turned the volume down, letting the quiet hum of voices fill the silence in the room. 

“Hey,,,,Akira,,,” Morgana was already curled into a ball at the end of his bed, he laid against the soft sheets, but his wide blue eyes stood out, making contact with Akira’s silver ones. 

“This may not be my place to ask, but have your parents always been so distant?” The cat's ears were pressed down against its head, a frown prominent as he asked. 

Thinking back on Morgana’s words, Akira ate another spoonful of curry. It’s not that he minded the question, but he really didn’t know how to answer it. It seemed worse now that he was back, this wasn’t how they were a year ago. But he didn’t know if it was because he had gotten so used to a caretaker that cared for him deeply that being dealt the cold shoulder hurt more than before or he didn’t know if it really had gotten worse. He couldn’t answer the question himself, so he replied with a shrug, there weren’t really any words to describe how he felt about the situation. Sure it hurt, but it was something that he couldn’t see himself being hung up on for long. 

“Well, I guess it’s not anything to worry about tonight. You’ve had a long day, we should sleep soon.”

For once Akira followed Morgana’s commands, quickly finishing up his late dinner and cleaning his dishes, before getting ready for bed for the night, going through the nightly routine of brushing his teeth and changing into pajamas. As he slid his jeans off and his sweat pants on, he made sure to transfer Akechi’s glove as well. He didn’t know what he was going to do with it, but until then it wouldn’t leave his side. 

After that, he slipped into the bed, letting the cartoon on TV lull him to sleep with little thoughts in his mind. 

4 / 12

"Holllyyyy shiiiiit, is that Kurusu?" A loud voice called out the second that Akira set foot on the school property. 

Akira turned his head towards the group of kids hanging out front, the 3 of them hanging around one of the benches. It didn't take long for Akira to recognize them as his friends from before he left, after not keeping in contact for a year he was surprised they even remembered his name. Though it had been awhile, Akira turned and made his way towards the group, mostly the guy that just spoke. Hikaru, he reminded him of Ryuji, just as loud and excitable, but a bit more hot headed if he was being honest. 

Next to Hikaru, sitting on the bench was Ryu. He was quiet, but it worked out with how much Hikaru talked. Mostly he sat reading while the others would always talk. The last one, on the other side of the bench was Ami. She was an average student that enjoyed the excitement that Hikaru brought to her life with his impulsiveness. Always a new adventure he wanted to set out on and a late night trip he had planned. His group here reminded him of his group back in Tokyo, just not as strange. 

"It's been so long, I can't believe you're back!" Ami piped up, a bright smile on her face. 

Ryu waved him, stating his hello in actions rather than words. 

"Yeah, you gotta tell us all about your trip man, like did you meet any hotties? Hook up with anyone? I'm sure city babes are different, right?" Hikaru, spoke up once more.

"Oh my-!" Ami interrupted. "Is that a cat? What's their name?"

"Better not let a teacher catch you with that thing." 

"This is Morgana, he's like my guard cat. Suppose to make sure I'm not getting into any trouble." Akira replied, a small smirk forming at the edge of his lips as Morgana stuck his head out of the bag. 

“That’s right, I need to make sure he doesn’t get up to anymore delinquent activities,” the cat happily agreed.

“They can’t understand you.”

“Akira-kun,,,,do you know what your cat is saying?” Ami asked, seeming more than a bit concerned. 

“Yeah, he’s a special cat.” Akira played it up like a joke, but had the tone that he was completely serious. 

The group stared at him in confusion for a second before erupting into joyful laughter. 

“God damn dude, you’re still strange as shit.”

6 / 08

The year droned on and it wasn’t anything to write home about. Akira went to his classes everyday, and did his homework in his house at night. At times he went out with his small group of friends to the diner or on a late night adventure, but nothing compared to his old friends in Tokyo, or the shenanigans he got up to there either. Usually he would sneak out of the house and hang out at the park with Hikaru. They would sit under the shade of a large tree, next to a big rock and lay down on the grass, listening to the air whistle and the streetlamps flicker. Usually Hikaru would have a cigarette or two, and while Akira put up with it he didn’t enjoy the smell that much, and he soon learned that he didn’t like the taste either. Though after a while it was just customary, that when they went to the park late at night both of them would share a cigarette and talk about everything and nothing.

“Dude, you gotta be honest with me, y’know I can keep a secret.” Hikaru started one night, while they were laying under the tree, staring at the sky. “You didn’t meet anyone that you liked while you were gone? No cute blondes or nothin?”

As the wind blew past them, Akira sat there thinking. To prolong his silence, he took a long drag from the cigarette from his hand before passing it back with a shrug. 

“There was one, yeah.”

“Ooo, tell me about her, was she the outgoing and impulsive type or someone that could whip you into shape real fast? I’m gonna need pictures!”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. He’s no longer with us.” Akira didn’t mean for his voice to sound so sharp when he said it. Hikaru was just curious, it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know what was going on in life. But he had lived a mundane life day to day, trying to get the thought of Goro out of his mind, and right when he thought he did, the memory of him came back to punch him right in the gut. 

“Oh fuck- I’m sorry dude.” It seemed like Hikaru wanted to say more, but he was at a loss of words and Akira just shook his head, not wanting him to say anything more. 

“Don’t worry about it.”

After that the night fell into silence. 

Besides that, there wasn’t anything new or exciting and there was nothing to look forward to. Him and his parents went out for dinner every friday night, and while that was enjoyable enough, it was the only time he ever got to see them. He didn’t even think they cared that he snuck out at night, because he was never really quiet, but if they noticed they never said anything. They all went about, living three completely different lives under one roof never knowing what was going on with each other. It seemed Morgana was restless as well. He always wanted to go out and do something, he wanted to explore and find new places, but being in a small town there wasn’t much. As much as the cat enjoyed watching the stars from Akira’s window at night, it was enough to justify staying here. 

7 / 01

“Akira, you should come visit this summer! Ryuji even said that his mom agreed to let you stay with them!” Ann’s bright voice exclaimed through Akira’s phone. 

It had only been four months since he got back, but the whole squad seemed eager to get him back in Tokyo, and to be honest he was itching to get back himself. Nothing sounded better than a plate of Sojiro’s curry right now. 

“Getting all this set up for me without even talking to me first. You must miss me pretty bad huh?” Unlike the false smiles that Akira felt himself putting on this year, a real smile pulled at the corner of his lips, ecstatic to hear the news. 

“Of course we miss you! Life isn’t the same without you around! We've all been too busy to even meet up with each other, but our schedules are clearing a little bit now that summer break is here. You need to come down and spend it with us! We even all chipped in to buy you a train ticket back.”

“Huh-? I could’ve bought my own train ticket you know”

“Nonsense! We wanted to make sure you’d be able to come! I’ll send you all the details over text, but make sure to mark July 25th on your calendar!”

“Aye aye, wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Oh-! I got to go, I’m running late for a photoshoot, but it was so nice to talk to you! I can’t wait to see you! Just a few more weeks! Alright, bye!”

07 / 25

Those three weeks were the longest three weeks of Akira’s life. He checked the calendar each day, watching as time ticked down to the day when he would finally be back in the city. Morgana seemed just excited as well, it was all he talked about. Always sighing comments about ‘I wonder how lady Ann’s doing’. Ever since the trip was planned, it was the only highlight in both of their minds, and it seemed to be the only thing they ever thought about. 

So on July 25th when he stepped off the train, to be greeted by a large group of ex-phantom thieves welcoming him in with open arms into their large group hug, Akira finally felt like he could breathe again. He felt like a sunflower that had just been pulled out of the shade and back into the light. His whole body relaxed to the feel of everyone. He didn’t even care that they were way too loud for a Monday morning, or that everyone around them was giving them annoyed looks. This was where he was supposed to be and it felt like home. 

Akira let himself be dragged around the train platform as everyone talked around him. He listened to their chatter and the five conversations going on at once as they all tried to tell him what they had been up to. He let himself be led to the parking lot and back into the van, finding himself comfortably in the middle while Morgana walked on everyone’s laps saying his hellos and getting attention from them. He didn’t know if he heard the groups plan or not, but part of him knew they were going to Leblanc. He recognized the familiar street paths. He remembers walking them so many times in the past year that he could navigate them with his eyes closed if he had too. He let the familiar of the bumps on the road soothe him as everyone talked excitedly around him. There were still five different conversations going on at once, all geared towards him, and somehow he paid attention to all of them and listened along, saying very little in return because it seemed like everyone was more than willing to do the talking for him. 

It wasn’t before long that Leblanc’s bell rang as the gang entered the cafe, and standing there with a small smile on his face was Sojiro. The stove was already on, cooking a brand new pot of curry, as well as the water was boiling with select coffee cups laid out on the counter. 

“Go on, grab a table. Lunch is almost ready. Make yourselves at home.” He greeted, his attention barely on the group as he worked hard to balance both tasks in the kitchen by himself. 

With no one in the cafe, it was easy to spread out, taking the center booth and the bar. Akira slid into one of the booths, with Morgana by his side. Futaba, Mokoto, and Ryuji joined him, while everyone else took their place at the counter. Everyone was still just as lively, their chatter drowning out the T.V that was playing the daily news. Not that it bothered anyone, because anything was more entertaining than what the mass media was putting out; and it wasn’t like Akira was even listening in general, too overwhelmed with the familiar scents invading his senses, and the familiar boiling and clinking of the stove somehow being just as loud as everyone else. It was the things that he missed that he was grabbing onto and holding tightly once again. 

“Here,” a voice spoke out and suddenly there was a large plate of curry on the table, with a cup of coffee to the side of it. “I made a lot, so make sure to take your time, no need to hurry yourself.”

Of course Akira _heard_ Sojiro’s words, but he did not _listen’_ to them. In seconds he was shoving spoonfuls of the delicious food into his mouth, listening as some of the others chuckled at his actions, but also as the remaining were following right behind him, suddenly the shop was a lot quieter as everyone was busy focusing on the meal in front of them. 

“God, it’s been so long since I’ve been here I forgot how delicious your food is Boss.” Ryuji practically groaned in happiness. 

“Yeah! Your food is amazing just as always, thank you so much.” Haru added, just as enthusiastic. 

Everyone else chimed in, humming in agreement while Sojiro just stood there against the bar, laughing to himself softly. It seemed he enjoyed cooking for everyone as much as they enjoyed eating it. The smile on everyone's faces was just enough for him.

“Yeah! Not even instant spicy ramen can beat Sojiro’s curry.” Futaba giggled a little bit. 

“Well, all of you make sure to take your time. I don’t get to close the shop often these days, so use it while you can.”

As Sojiro spoke, his eyes lit up, just like he had an eye idea, and suddenly his attention was turned towards Akira. 

“Speaking of which, do you need any money while you’re out here for the month?”

Akira raised an eyebrow at Sojiro, the questioning look on his face pushing him to talk further. 

“Because I could use some help around here if you need some money. Just help me open the shop a few times a week and I’ll pay you for the day, that way you can go out and spend your money on whatever.” Sojiro continues, and Akira’s eyes lit up at the offer. 

“Sure, just let me know when and I’ll be there.” he responded, having a hard time believing that he already had a job here and he hadn’t even been back for an hour. Sure he had some money in his pocket, but it was mostly savings. His parents didn’t give him a lot and he was too busy with his studies to pick up a part time job, it was nice to be able to actually have a summer job to save up more money. 

“Well, I don’t want to take away from your summertime fun, but how about you open for me tomorrow? That way we can work out a schedule together.”

Akira nodded enthusiastically. 

“Perfect. Well, don’t let me stop you from enjoying your lunch. Go on get back to it, mingle with everyone else.”

…

After that the cafe turned much louder as everyone went back to talking and sharing their summer plans. Now that Akira was filled with curry and energy, he joined in, sharing his plans and what he was looking forward to. It seemed that everyone was interested in what he had been up to in his hometown, but he usually brushed all those comments off, mostly because his life was too boring nowadays to be able to justify sharing it with everyone else. It didn’t seem like everyone noticed, or truly cared though, they were just as happy to share their stories. 

What was supposed to be a meeting for lunch, turned into a party for dinner, with sushi and dessert accompanied, it wasn’t until almost 9 when everyone left Leblanc with full stomachs and in good spirits, as much as everyone wanted to keep the party going, they were eventually kicked out and that just left Akira and Morgana and the train with Ryuji. 

“Dude this is gonna be so cool, I don’t have sleep overs often. We gotta stay up and play video games all night- ooo or maybe a movie marathon!”

“Hey, I work hard to keep his sleeping schedule in check, don’t go ruining it!” Morgana interrupted, sticking his head out the bag to stare Ryuji down.

“Stay. hidden.” Ryuji replied, pushing Morgana back inside Akira’s bag before laughing. “Anyways a few late nights never hurt anyone, Akira’s only here for a month after, I gotta get in all the time I can with him”

It wasn’t surprising that this started an argument. Akira sat back and listened to the two of them duke it out for the rest of the ride back to Ryuji’s apartment. 

07 / 26

It was weird being up so early in the morning when it wasn’t for school, Akira found himself sleeping well into the afternoon on the weekends back at his home. Even if he went to bed at midnight, he couldn’t help but wake up at noon, feeling like he had nothing better to do than sleep and his eyes just shutting so peacefully every time he tried to get out of bed. So waking up at 6 in the morning to catch the train and make it to the cafe on time was new to him. It made Akira realize how much he missed early mornings. The crisp air, and the sun that just looked a bit more golden as the birds chirped away. Everything was waking up with him and it made him feel more intune with the world than anything else had for a while. Even with all that though, that didn’t stop him from yawning every five seconds, and forcing himself to stay awake on the train ride. It was definitely too early and Akira’s body was not prepared for it. It was even harder, not having Morgana with him to keep him company. 

It was only when midafternoon hit that Akira felt fully awake. A few hours into his shift, and he finally felt like he was getting a hang of things once more. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed this job and this place until he started working again. It was a delight to see all the regulars come in and to see the shock on their face when they realized he was back. He loved having conversations about the morning news, or a tough task that was assigned at work. Truthfully, Akira didn’t speak too much, but no one seemed to mind. Just letting them talk over a cup of coffee was enough to brighten their day as well as Akira’s. 

“Oh I’m so happy he’s back, are you keeping him full time, Boss?” One of the customers asked, as she sat at the bar. 

“Not exactly, I’m just letting him work here while he’s visiting for the summer.” 

“Oh that’s a shame, because he truly is good at what he does, almost as good as you. If I were you, I’d consider taking him on full time”

“Oh I’d love to, but I’m sure he’s busy preparing for university,”

“Well, I understand, but just so you know, he’s one of your best.”

…

“So, what are your plans after High School?” 

It was late afternoon now. The lunch rush (if it could even be called that) had ended and the cafe was desolate as Akira cleaned the last few tables he needed to before he could go home for the day. At the moment it was just him, Sojiro and Futaba, working hard on her laptop. 

“Hmm,” Akira pulled away from the table and slung the damp rag over his shoulder as he turned to look at Sojiro. “I don’t know, I wasn’t exactly planning on going to university. Figure I’d just get a job instead.”

“Really? You already have one lined up?”

“No, but I was going to cross that bridge when I got to it.”

“Don’t go through life so carelessly, there are some things that you should put thought into beforehand,” The elder huffed out in annoyance. “But you seriously don’t have any plans after you graduate? You’ll be done in just a few months.”

“Not at the moment, no.”

“Well. if you truly don’t have any plans, I’d welcome you here. It’s not the most exciting job out there, but I’d let you have the attic again, and this time you could do anything you want with it. I’ll pay you a steady wage and consider your rent having to work for me. It would be really nice to have you back.”

“Sojiro’s trying to say he misses youuu~!” Futaba suddenly cut in with a giggle 

“Oh hush. So what do you say, Akira?”

  
  


Akira almost dropped the cup that he had just barely picked up off the table,he had a tight grip on it as he stared at Sojiro with wide eyes. This was one of the best offers he could’ve ever hoped for. Sure he planned to move back to the city after he graduated, but he figured he would get a couple jobs and move into a shabby apartment, being given the chance to have his old home back and one of his favorite jobs was music to his ears. Once again he felt his chest fill with warmth, a feeling that had been distant this past year. 

“How could you expect me to say no to an offer like that?” Akira couldn’t help but chuckle along. 

9 / 01

“Wait, are you saying you’re moving back to the city once you graduate?” Akira’s mother spoke, dumbfounded. 

It was their weekly night out to dinner, the three of them sat in the back of a fancy steak house, quietly enjoying their meal and making small talk. This time Akira’s parents seemed a bit more interested in his life, asking him how his summer trip and what he got up to. They were pleasantly surprised to see that he did in fact work while he was gone, they were not so happy about the fact that he intended to go back and work there after school was over though. 

“We said we’d pay for your schooling, I don’t know why you’d want to jump straight into a job.” His father added on, seeming just as annoyed as he always was. 

“I don’t really want to study anything at the moment. I might go later, but I figured I would work in the meantime and get some money in savings.” Akira explained, the best he could even though he didn’t want to. He didn’t feel like he should have to explain his actions to his parents, he was an adult now. 

“What do you mean you don’t want to go to school? Are you just trying to make life harder for yourself? First you get a criminal record-”

“-That was resolved-” Akira’s mom chimed in.

“-And now you don’t want to go to school. It seems like you want to take the hardest path in life. If you want a job, why don’t you just stay here? Takagi’s restaurant has been there for the past 30 years and could always use help, I’m sure you could find yourself a steady job there. Why go somewhere when you don’t even know if it’s going to work out in the long run.”

Akira could feel himself losing patience by the second. His foot began tapping harshly on the ground, as he dug his nails into the sleeve of his crossed arms. 

“How do you know it’s not going to work out?-”

Before he could throw out his counter argument, his mother chimed in once more, being able to sense the drastic mood change at the table, she decided to try and do collateral damage before the argument got anymore out of hand. 

“Akira, what I think your father is trying to say is, why leave home again? We just got you back, and we don’t want to see you leave so fast. There are plenty of jobs here and they’re just as stable, probably even more so. We just wish you’d think your options through more before making up your mind.”

“I have, and I have decided that this is what’s best for me.”

“Fine, if that’s truly what will make you happy, I guess we can’t change your mind.” 

Dinner was too quiet after that, as well as the car ride home after that. It was times like this when Akira remembered why sometimes it’s just better to have small talk at dinner instead of discussing his feelings, it always ends up in everyone being disappointed.

5 / 10

It took a little bit of time, but Akira was finally all settled in. After staying at Ryuji’s the week, all of his stuff from his hometown had finally arrived and after spending the last few days unpacking, it was finally all finished! Just like before Akira pushed his bed into the corner, but instead of a flimsy piece of foam on some milk crates, it was his comfortable twin sized mattress, with actual sheets. There was a bedside table next to it now, along with a lamp on top of it. Everything fell into place just like the attic looked during his last stay at Leblanc, except now there were a few more shelves and a current game console to go with his retro one. For the moment it was still quite barren, but he figured he could fix that as he started getting paychecks. After all, Sojiro said that the attic was his now and he could redecorate it however he pleased, that included painting and any other home renovations he decided on. While he didn’t have anything in mind for the moment, he was sure the ideas would come flooding in soon enough. 

“Hey, how long are you going to just stand there staring off into space?” Morgana had jumped down from his usual spot by the banister and trailed over to Akira, using his paw to scratch at his leg to grab his attention. “You room looks very nice, but aren’t the others going to arrive soon, shouldn’t you go grab everything you need from the store?”

“Oh yeah,,” Akira hummed along in agreement, almost forgetting he made plans to have a welcome home party in his room once he was all settled in. The celebration would be hot pot, just like they had almost a year ago. 

…

A few hours later and everyone was thoroughly satisfied. Even though they had all had their first helpings, many had gone back in for seconds, stuffing themselves till they could feel their stomachs about to burst. Akira was one of them, completely forgetting about the gourmet chocolate cake that he picked up at a bakery on the way back from the store, he was currently enjoying himself on hot broth and juicy meat. 

“Mmm, I would’ve never guessed hot pot could be so good in the summer,” Haru hummed in delight. She was one of the only ones actually taking her time with her food, enjoying every bite slowly but surely.

“It certainly is quite a strange meal for this time of year, but then again, we’re pretty unorthodox ourselves are we not?” Yusuke replied, his bowl sat completely empty on the table, and it looked like was debating to get more himself. 

“I just hope that we can get together and do more things like this now that Akira’s finally back and summer break is going to be here soon enough. We have to do stuff like this every week!” Ann also chimed in, though it seemed her attention was taken by the chocolate cake laying in the bag on the floor. 

Even though it sounded like everyone was going to be quite busy very soon, they all hummed in agreement. They didn’t know exactly when they were going to be able to hang out, but everyone wanted to keep this feeling alive. No more having to wait till vacations to get back together, suddenly they were all in one place, only a train ride away. It felt so good to be all back together once more. 

“Yeah, well all that stuff about planning for the future can wait, let’s just enjoy the moment, and I say we start by digging into that chocolate cake!” Ryuji, slammed his fists on the table, gathering everyone’s attention.

A chorus of groans suddenly erupted

“I don’t know if I can eat anymore-”

“I feel like my stomach’s about to bust-”

“Oh I’m ready for a nap-”

Ryuji didn’t listen to anyone's protests though, clearing a small section of the table off, he grabbed the cake from the floor. It was only when he took it out of the box, setting the gorgeous pastry on the table that it caught everyone’s attention. It was a large circular chocolate cake, it had dollops of whipped cream around the edge, along with maraschino cherries. There was a moment of silence for the beauty that lay out before the group, and Ryuji may have even shed a tear at its beauty. 

The cake was long gone by the time everyone had settled down, every piece had been devoured, down to the last crumb, and there wasn’t much of anything left of the hot pot either. A majority of ex-thieves had eaten their way into a food coma, and were passed out all around Akira’s room. Some squashed together on the couch and others using spare blankets from Akira’s bed to make themselves a comfortable bed on the floor. But while everyone slept soundly, Akira took the moment of peace to himself to clean up all the dishes downstairs in the kitchen. He listened to the wind as it blew gently against the shop window, and watched as even late at night life thrived. People hung out in front of the bathhouse, or simply walked down the alleyways, making their way back to their homes for a night's rest, something that Akira himself should be doing. He couldn’t help but yawn into the back of his palm as he finished the last dish and set it on the rack to dry. 

The whole cafe stood still as Akira made his way out from behind the bar, and towards the stairs. Even when he turned off the lights, no one stirred, it was only the sounds of the stairs quietly creaking as he gently made his way up back to his room, navigating through the piles of bodys curled up on the floor and back to his bed. Sitting on the mattress, he stared at all his friends, together, peacefully sleeping. Their bodies were illuminated by the streetlights that shined outside into his window, giving him a few of Morgana curled up on Ann’s chest, and the way Makoto curled into Ryuji’s side. Haru had found a Jack Frost plushie to hold in her sleep, while being sandwiched between Yuskue and Futaba. 

Akira couldn’t pass up the opportunity to pull out his phone and snap a quick picture from his point of view. Of course in the dark, with little lighting, it didn’t look amazing, but he could still make out the bodies and it captured the memory perfectly. Sure it was a little fuzzy, but it wasn’t like it was going up in an art museum, it was just for his own enjoyment, a way to end the perfect celebration. 

Akira took one last look at his phone, smiling at the picture before locking his screen and plugging his it into the charger, setting it right on the table, right next to Akechi’s glove. Just like it did every other time, the sight of his glove made Akira freeze. He couldn’t help stare as it lay lifeless on the table. Everyday it lost a bit more of its scent, and it just started to become a leather glove, not Akechi’s glove. Even through the celebration he felt the emptiness in the party. All his friends were there, with him right in the room, but all he could think about was Akechi, and how he was still gone. About how Akechi was probably dead, but Akira didn’t want to admit that. He hadn’t been in Tokyo for long, but he had a stupid wish that he would run into the detective on the street on his way to get groceries, or while he made his way to the gym. It was a useless hope, something idiotic to put his energy into, but he couldn’t help it. 

Slowly, Akira slid himself under his covers, laying on his side, facing the room, facing his friends, but also the glove on the table. Thought raced through his head, but his mind was too tired to entertain all of them. He just let them lull him to sleep, and busy his dreams, and his nightmares. 

That night Akira dreamed of the cold November night a year and half ago. When both of them played chess together, and when Akira reached out to touch Akechi, he slipped through his fingers like sand, disappearing into the wind.


	2. 1. When Did We Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘When did we stop  
> Aiming for the top?  
> We're on a slow march  
> To the middle’
> 
> \- New Move | When Did We Stop -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's only the second chapter, but I already had to change the chapter count because I had to split this chapter up into two different parts. If I didn't it probably would've ended up being something like 20k words or something crazy like that. Anyways! This is still a decently sized one! I'm hoping I can get an update schedule of a chapter every two to three weeks, but don't hold me too that because I'm bad with schedules. I will still try my best though!
> 
> Just like I warned in the last chapter, this fic deals heavily with substance abuse, underage drinking, and a little bit of suicidal ideation. It starts getting referenced in this chapter, so please tread with caution if you are sensitive to that subject matter.
> 
> Enjoy!

**3 Years Later**

The soft sound of wind blowing through open windows on a hot summer night was the only thing that disturbed the room. It flew in through the slits down into the dusty attic, running through the papers left scattered on the desk, as well as Morgana’s fur. Sitting in the dark, with nothing but a stray street lamp from outside to light the room, the cat licked at it’s fur, taking his time to clean himself as he licked his back, before he moved onto his paws, wetting them just enough to run them along his ears and down to his cheeks. A nightly routine he had fallen into just before bed. It was a calming routine. Though he usually enjoyed doing it in front of the TV, and perched on Akira’s lap; sitting in the small nest at the edge of the queen sized in the dark wasn’t all that bad either. 

It took a few more minutes, but eventually Morgana. deemed himself clean enough and stood up on his legs, stretching upwards, before he set his paws far out in front of him and stretched out the limbs that cramped up while sitting in a ball for hours on end. He even let a small yawn fall from his mouth as he padded along the top of the sheets to the bedside table to get a good look at the digital clock that sat on top of it. 

_ 1: 56 A.M. _

It read in bright red numbers, etching it's time into the cat's skull, if he had the muscles in his face to frown he would, but instead he let out a sigh, one that would be heard as a whimper if there was anyone else in the room to hear it. This had been the weekly routine for the past year almost, but it seemed that this was happening more frequently to the point where it was almost a nightly occurrence.

Almost a year ago, Akira would leave right after closing Leblanc and head over to the red light district, where he would have a drink and return before midnight. He’d always come back happily buzzed, laughing and cracking jokes with Morgana, spending the next few hours to himself before going to bed. Though in the past few months, leaving for a couple hours turned into leaving for four or five hours at a time. Going to the small bar tucked into the back of the red light district, turned into going to large clubs that were open all night. Coming home and settling down before bed, turned into bringing strangers home, or not even coming home at all! He wasn’t even tipsy and happy when he came home alone anymore, he was drunk, reeking of alcohol and strong cologne. It seemed this night wouldn’t be any different from the others either. 

_ What’s the point of living with someone if you never get to see them? _

Morgana couldn’t help but let the thought fill his head as he slumped back down on the bed. cerulean eyes scanned the clock one more time, watching as the minutes passed by, while life around him seemed to stay the same. Quiet, and dark. He tried to not focus on these thoughts, but it was true! What was the point of staying here with Akira when he could go and live his own life? It probably wouldn’t be that hard to find a new place to stay, he hadn’t had any contact with the other Thieve’s, besides Futaba, for a couple years now; but finding them wouldn’t be all that hard, and he was positive whatever they were up to would probably be better than their previous leader, Joker’s, life! It isn’t worth it to stay in an attic alone with nothing to do. He couldn’t see Akira during the day when he was working, it would be bad for business if a cat was sitting on the bar stools and counter. He couldn’t see him after work because Akira was gone the second he put the cleaning supplies away for the night. It seemed the only time they got with each other was the few hours in the mornings, and  _ maybe _ the hour when he got home and before they went to sleep. It wasn’t right. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go and as much as Morgana was pissed off at Akira, he mostly just missed having his best friend beside him everyday. He was worried for not only his health but his safety. Maybe it only seemed like a short fling to him, perhaps it seemed like a fun way to blow off steam and live his young adult life. Morgana didn't see it that way though, and he didn’t see this stopping anytime soon... unless there was a force greater than him that was out there that had the ability to. 

Suddenly, just like it was on demand, the cat's ears perked up at the sound of the shop's bell jingling downstairs. Along with the sound of the bell also came the sound of footsteps, stumbling along the wooden floor. Though, the closer he listened, he could make out two pairs of foot steps down below. Both clumsy on their feet, but thankfully they hadn't crashed into anything yet. Along with the messy footsteps came hushed whispering and heavy breathing. Morgana didn't need to poke his head down the stairs to see what was going on, and he didn't even need to guess where this was going because he knew. 

"Great, this is just great. Can't even sleep in my own bed." Morgana grumbled to himself as he picked himself up and hopped off the bed, making his way towards the stairs.

Morgana lingered at the top for a moment, listening to the commotion going on at the bottom of the stairs before he decided it would just be better to leave sooner than later. If he stayed for too long he would be stuck here, and there was no way he’d want that. Not again. 

As the cat slowly slipped down the stairs, Akira came into a better view. Currently he had someone that he had never seen before pressed up against the counter between the barstools. One hand supported himself as he gripped at the hard surface, while his other hand was sliding under their shirt, riding up their clothes and giving Morgana a bit more to look at than he wanted too. For both of their sakes, Morgana turned his head, averting his gaze to give him as much privacy as possible as he hurried down the stairs and pawed at Leblanc’s front door until it finally opened and he slid out into the hot summer air. 

"Shit, is someone else else here?!" The voice spoke out, panicked.

"Don' worry….jus' my cat…" Akira replied, muffled against skin.

Morgana didn't hear anything else after the door finally shut and he was glad he didn't have to. Now it was just a short walk from the cafe to the Chief's house. He was sure Futaba was still awake and would lend him a place to sleep for the night, she usually did. If for some reason she was asleep, he'd have to find shelter with the alley cats that slept together in a nest in the corner of the alley with the clinic. It wasn't his favorite place to sleep, outside was too loud and as much as he was a cat he always felt a disconnect while interacting with cats that couldn't talk. Still, they were warm and took care of each other and sometimes there were even fresh blankets with food and water set out from one of the neighborhood children who tried to feed all the strays. It wasn't the most horrible place to sleep, but man he really hoped that Futaba was still up.

After five minutes of wandering, Morgana finally ended up in front of an open window. While the lights were off, he could make out the faint glow of monitors and the quiet sound of sniffling coming from inside of her room. Which meant that her window was in fact open, and she was awake so Morgana wouldn’t be sleeping with the alley cats tonight! With little thought, the cat jumped up onto the window, and sat on the end of the ledge, watching as Futaba dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve. He was almost concerned, until he saw that she was currently watching some anime.

"Hey! What are you doing?" The cat spoke loudly, as he reached out his paw and batted her shoulder a couple times. 

"AH- what the-!" Quickly the girl in front of him fumbled, quickly removing her headphones and closing out of the browser she was just barely watching.

"Kitty!" Futaba almost hissed in irritation as she turned her chair to look at her opened window. "If you're going to do this every night, I have every right to close that damn window. We really need to put a bell on your collar." 

"Well I wouldn't be here every night if Akira would stop inviting people over!" 

"Hmm, so he brought someone else over huh?" 

Futaba's expression softened a little bit as she let out a sigh. It was hard to tell what was going on in her mind. While she had a melancholy look on her face it was hard to tell if that was because of the news about Akira or if she was just lost in thought. It was hard to read Futaba's expressions and even her as a person and at times it seemed the only way to understand her thoughts was to continue the conversation.

"Yeah! That's the 4th person he's brought home this week! He treats me like some pet and has no concern for me, doesn't even give me any warning, I just get booted out of the house at 2 a.m to go find my own shelter." 

"Well, I mean, you  _ are _ a cat."

"That's not the point here! I'm his  _ best friend,  _ not his pet! If he wants to go out and ruin his life he can at least not drag me into it!" 

It was quite in the room after Morgana had his outburst. Futaba sat there with the same look on her face as before. Slowly she pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, staring down at the blue rug below her. Until her eyes flicked back up and met Morgana's

"It sucks, but it sounds like he's going through something and this is his way of dealing with it. I mean, Akira has never been one to turn down a challenge and always seems to veer towards danger, so it's not surprising that his way of coping is going out and being reckless."

"Wait-" Morgana held his paw out to stop Futaba as he processed everything that she just said.

To him this was a very sudden change in subject that came out of nowhere. He was just ranting about Akira’s habits, how did Futaba get ‘ _ coping’ _ out of this? The last time he checked, Akira wasn’t going through anything! He was just living his life being careless!

"What do you mean by 'coping' and 'dealing with it'?” The Morgana questioned once more. “Do you mean like,,,,the metaverse and everything? Like all the stuff with the Phantom Thieves?” 

He couldn’t imagine anything else that Akira would be stuck on. 

“All that happened years ago! I mean, he was depressed about it for a few months, but then he got over it.”

"Obviously not if he's acting this way. People don't just develop unhealthy habits out of nowhere, it usually is caused by stress, or trauma. Akira took it all in stride, but when you think about it, he went through a lot in high school and his brain is probably trying to use this time to reflect and process everything that happened years ago. He doesn't want to though, so he's delaying it with distractions that keep him occupied throughout the night."

Morgana sat there in thought for a moment, not even knowing what to say. None of this had even crossed his mind and he didn't know if it was because he was truthfully still a little oblivious to humans and how they functioned, or if it was because he went to the girl whose minor in university was currently psychology. Even now he was having a hard time understanding exactly what Futaba was saying to him. Was Akira really struggling that much? He didn't really seem to show it, he got up on time every day and opened the shop without problem. He would converse with the customers with a smile on his face. When he went out he seemed excited and acted like he was going out with a group of friends, not like he was running away from something. Of course Akira's behavior seemed off to the cat. He knew it wasn't how he used to act, but Morgana always thought that was because since he was an adult and was allowed to drink now, it was just a new personality he had developed.

"Okayyyy- but, what does that mean though. We're his friends, he can't just let him ruin his life! I mean what would he still be caught up on?" 

Morgana tried to push the conversation forward, trying to figure out what to do with all this information, wanting to see how he could actually help. 

"Have you tried talking to him about it?"

"He doesn't give me the chance! He's always out the door before I can even say anything, or he changes the subject!" 

"Redirecting…." Futaba mumbled, it wasn't clear if it was to herself or Morgana. 

Then there was silence again and this time Morgana was getting a little more irritated. He was really trying to understand what was going on, but it was hard when Futaba kept spacing out and going into her own little world. He sat there, impatiently, tapping his paw. 

“Helloooooo? Futaba?”

“Sorry, I was thinking.” She shook her head, and gave a simple shrug before looking back at Morgana. “You’re not going to like this answer, but the only thing you can do is be there for him.”

“That hasn’t been working though-”

“There’s nothing else you can really do. Until Akira can admit that he has a problem, or admit that he wants to change it out of your hands, or all of our hands for that matter.”

“It’ll just keep getting worse and worse at this point”

“Sometimes that’s what needs to happen. If he’s not going to listen, then he’ll find out on his own, the hard way.”

“That doesn’t make sense though! You couldn’t fix your issues on your own, you had to get help from us! Why is he any different?”

“Yeah, but I asked for help. It wasn’t something I could fix on my own, but I had to come to terms that I wanted change and needed it. No matter how much you don’t like what someone is doing, unless they take the first step, it’ll be fruitless in the end.” 

Morgana didn’t like the sound of that at all and as much as it seemed counter intuitive, Morgana did see a point in Futaba’s words. Still, he couldn't help but think they weren’t right, even if they were coming from someone who had experience in this firsthand, as well as studying it. It just seemed rude to sit back and watch someone spiral, especially if there was something that could be done about it. It almost seemed heartless. No matter how annoyed the cat was by Akira’s actions, that was his best friend and he didn’t want anything happening to him ever. He had suffered enough in high school to make more hardships for himself. 

“Well, what if we try to hang out with him more? He can’t go out if we make plans with him! Plus, he really hasn’t seen anyone lately, only strangers.” It was now Morgana’s turn to look on the bright side and try to come up. If he couldn’t talk to Akira, maybe he could direct him in other ways, with other distractions. 

“I mean, yeah. that could work.” Futaba agreed. 

“Awesome, so then it’s settled, you’re coming over tomorrow night once the shop closes!” Morgana beamed rather pleased with his problem solving skills.

“W-wait! I never agreed to that, you can’t just make plans for me!”

“You never have anything going on! I know you’re not busy and Akira needs company come on!”

“Fine, I’ll be there at 9 tomorrow.”

“Perfect.”

\---

The room was freezing, even with Akira’s jacket on, the air nipped at his skin. It also didn’t help that he was currently attached to a metal chair, with handcuffs bound so tightly to his wrists that they were cutting off circulation and opening old wounds all at the same time. He knew this room, and he knew this feeling. The emptiness, the chilling air, and dread. It was all the same, like none of it had changed in the past 3 years he was gone. There wasn’t even any dust on the surface of the table or in the corner. It was pristine, almost uncannily so. 

Time went at a crawling pace, but Akira sat there still, patiently, waiting for someone to come in. He was waiting for the interrogator, a guard, or anyone else to get him out of here. He didn’t know how long he had been in here, but from how his body trembled he could tell it had already been awhile. The left side of his body ached, and as he tried to move his fingers in their bound position, he could only manage a few centimeters before he had to give up. If he had been here for awhile, he would be here for a while more, it was in his best interest to sit still and act on his best behavior. 

. . .

He must’ve drifted off again. 

When Akira rose his head, it was to the sound of footsteps echoing down the long hallway on the other side of the door. His eyes burned and his head was now a throbbing mess, barely able to keep his eyes open long enough to look at the bright fluorescence lights that were shining down on him, offering him a spotlight for nothing. 

The footsteps were approaching, closer, closer, every  _ click _ was echoing in Akira’s skull, sending vibrations down through his body. It wasn't before long, the footsteps stopped in front of the door way, standing there, lingering their presence outside for far too long. Even though he couldn’t see, he could hear and feel the others fingers wrap around the doorknob, turning it at what felt like a snail's pace. 

“Well well well,” A cheerful voice exclaimed as the door slammed open. “Look who it is.”

Akira couldn’t see who it was through his blurry vision, his head was swimming, making everything seem like it was underwater. Though he could hear the cadence of the man who just walked in, and it didn’t take long to match it to the pretty boy detective voice he heard all throughout his second year of high school. 

Though he would’ve loved to react to seeing Akechi again alive and well, after all these years, he couldn’t. He couldn’t even keep his head up long enough to stare at the silhouette of the figure in the doorway. He just wanted to go back to sleep, to let his eyes rest. He wanted whatever was going to happen to him to happen. He wanted the pins and needles in his arms to go away. He wanted the sharp stinging on his right temple to end. He just wanted to get this over with. 

. . .

“They really did a number on you huh?”

When Akira opened his eyes once more, somehow Goro had teleported from the doorway to the table. He was sitting in the middle of it, perched like a king on his throne, looking down at Akira like he was dirt beneath his shoes. Akechi’s foot rested on Akira’s chair, between his legs, while the other leg was hanging off the edge of the table. It didn’t seem like a very business professional position to be in, but then again Akira wasn’t in the place to judge at the moment. 

“You’re still so out of it too, what a shame, I was hoping you’d at least be coherent.”

Cold leather reached out and tightly gripped Akira’s jaw, somehow digging into every bruise he currently had on his face. All he could do was let out a sharp gasp, as the gloved hand forced his face from staring at the cold concrete floor to the bright shining eyes of the detective in front of him. Red wine, capturing his gaze in seconds; his eyes were so deep so filled with life that for a second Akira forgot the pain intruding his senses.All he could feel was electricity shooting down his body in sparks, sending a second wave of energy flooding through him.

Still, Akira tried to shut his eyes, not wanting to face the bright lights any longer. He tried to shut his eyes to drown out the detective in front of him, perched so pretty and perfect on that table, just to put Akira in his place. He shut his eyes so he wouldn’t feel powerless under Goro’s gaze any longer. Knowing that if he asked Akechi for the world he would give it to him right then and there. It was no use though, two rough blows to his left cheekbone had him opening his eyes to everything dancing and the only thing he could do was focus on Akechi's face to ground him.

“Oh well, things must go on. I don’t have a lot of time today, and I’m sure you want your misery to end quickly.”

“What…..are you…..doing here?” The words felt like sandpaper in his throat, and when they left his mouth they sounded like a toad's croak and nothing like actual words, but Akira had to know. Where had Akechi been all these years? 

“Shhh, don’t strain yourself, you’re already so weak at this point you’ll just waste away.” Akechi used the hand that wasn’t cradling his jaw, to press a finger to Akira’s lips, silencing him for good. 

“But of course that’s what you want isn’t it?”

Silence

“For someone who was the leader of the Phantom Thieves, and took Japan by a storm in just a year, you’re nowhere where I’d thought you’d be. Wasting away in an attic with nothing to show for yourself? Pathetic. People who are given a second chance at life usually make the most of it you know? What do you have to say for yourself?”

Silence. 

“Silence…. has never sound...ed….so….”

. . .

“Hey!  _ Wake up _ !”

Akira’s eye’s shot opened as the blunt end of an object collided with his temple, reopening the wound from earlier, blood now flowing freely. He could feel the cold liquid mix with his hair and stream down his face. His vision tunneled, and struggled to focus on the figure in front of him once more. 

“If you’re not going to have the decency to stay awake, then there's a point in giving you a second or even a third chance! You’re wasting not only my time, but yours as well.”

He didn’t know where the gun came from, but there was no mistake that there was one laying in Goro’s free hand . The silver glinted in the dark room. Unlike the cold and pristine atomosphere around him though, the gun was the opposite. scratched, rust colored splatters adorning the barrel. It had been used before and it would be used again. Akira stared at the blood dripping off the bottom of it as he heard Akechi click off the safety. 

The room suddenly felt very hot, and much too suffocating. The second the barrel pressed against his forehead, Akira’s whole body tensed up, his words and breath caught in his throat. Everything urged him to fight back, but there was no way. His hands were bound, and he was at the mercy of the prince in front of him. No words or pleading would save him. So he stayed quiet, letting the cold metal dig itself further into his skin. 

“Look at you, being such a good boy. Waiting so patiently for your end, knowing it’s exactly what you deserve.”

The sick laugh that bubbled up in Goro’s chest and flooded the room left the hairs on Akira’s arm standing up, and a shudder flooding through his body. 

“I really don’t have any more time to waste on you, but I’ll leave you with a few last words that probably would’ve helped you avoid this outcome.  _ If you keep playing your cards the same way, you're going to end up with the same outcome _ .”

_ Bang.  _

…

Akira opened his eyes to the first peak of daylight shining through his window and to the sound of the busy streets outside. As he laid there, a ripple of pain flooded his body, and for a second he felt like he really had been slammed against the floor, as well as shot in the face. With a slow and shaky hand he brought his fingers up to his temple and forehead, flinching at the contact like there was a bullet hole there. All he was met with was soft skin, and sweat. 

Fuck.

Akira’s hand flopped back down onto the mattress as he let out a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding. 

It was just a nightmare. Another nightmare. He hadn't had one containing Akechi for half a year now. The detective was long back in Akira's mind. Though he always found ways to slip through the cracks back into his train of thought. Whether it would be through someone talking about how The detective prince disappeared out of nowhere, or by the nightmares that disturbed Akira's sleep.

Usually they weren't this bad. Yeah there were some that contained the metaverse and shadows. Sometimes it was losing and being mangled into a bloody pulp in a fight, or a hallway that was never ending no matter which way he traveled, and a door that was always locked that he could never see the other side of. Other times they were plain old nightmares containing life. But, no matter what they were, they were  _ exhausting _ . Especially with ones like today, Akira awoke feeling like half his energy was already depleted, and he was ready to go back to bed.

He couldn't though, he had work today. He had to get up and start the day.

Akira didn’t know what time it was, but it was time to open Leblanc, he knew that at least. Sojiro would be here soon, and while he had a few more hours until he had to work, it would be in his best interest to get any strangers out of here before anyone came home to see. Slowly, Akira pushed himself up, letting the blanket covering him fall into his lap as he turned to the side to look at the body sleeping next to him.

Long brown hair spread out against the pillow, slender fingers clutching the blanket to his chest. The other's breath was slow and shallow, while his eyelashes fluttered gently in his sleep. His face looked calm and almost peaceful. Akira stared at it, taking in every feature and feeling his gut turn, retching with anxiety and guilt. He really couldn’t keep doing this shit. 

“Hey,” Akira gave the body a few shakes before slipping out of bed. “Sorry to cut this short but I have to open shop soon.” 

The voice underneath the blanket groaned.

"......gimme 5…."

…

_ ‘I had fun last night’ _

_ ‘Text me when you want to do it again ;)’  _

“Hey, phone away while you’re working.”

Sojiro’s voice cut off Akira’s train of thought, before he even had the chance to think about if he wanted to respond to the message or not. Though he supposed it was for the best, he didn’t want to respond to the message and it was best if this was just another relationship that he never touched again. So he followed orders and slipped his phone back into his pocket. 

“Yes sir.” Akira replied, in his standard cocky attitude. 

All he could hear was a scuff in response. 

“I know it’s dead today, but there’s still work that needs to be done.”

“Like what?”

The tables had been cleaned off as well as the counters, currently there was a fresh batch of curry already in the making and all supplies were stocked up. It was one of those days that everything had been done by early afternoon, and all that was left was to stand around and wait for the lunch rush to come in. Lunch rush meaning, the regulars and maybe a new face or two. Either way it was apparent there was nothing to do, and Sojiro knew that too. Akira just wanted to hear him say it. 

There was a series of noises as Sojiro tapped his foot impatiently.

“Look- don’t give me that attitude. If you’re not going to do anything in the cafe, at least make yourself useful and go buy me some cigarettes.”

Akira nodded at that. He was more than willing to take a short break and walk to the corner store to grab some cigarettes for Sojiro. His mind had felt slow and sluggish all day, but his body had felt antsy and restless, and with how slowly time passed in the shop didn’t seem to help the matter at all. Right now he was willing to do anything that would pass time more quickly to end the workday and actually be able to go out for the night. Between the body aches, and the nightmare from last night, Akira was not in the mood today, he would give anything to be in a headspace that could actually handle and process things without them seeming like a complete chore. 

“Alright, I’m going to take my lunch as well. I’ll be back in 30.”

“Yeah yeah.”

With fast hands, Akira untied the back of his apron and returned it to its home on the back wall, before zipping upstairs to grab his wallet and bag. He took the steps two at time, not minding how the stairs creaked loudly under his pressure and the sound alone probably woke Morgana up from his nap. He even threw open the door at the top of the stairs with a bit too much force, watching as it flew back against the wall, sending a wave through the shop. Morgana probably would’ve scolded him if he was fully awake, but it was obvious that the cat was out of it, when he reached the top. Morgana's half closed eyes looked at him while his tail swayed slowly in the air. 

"I'm gonna go get lunch, do you want to join?" 

Instantly the cat's ears perked up and before Akira knew it, he was jumping off the bed and running to his side. Morgana threaded his way through the others leg, rubbing his cheeks against Akira's calves before eventually jumping into the bag that was set on the floor for him.

"Can we get sushi for lunch?" 

“I’ll see what I can do. I do owe you for last night.”

Akira didn’t usually talk with Morgana about what he got up to at night, seeing as Morgana didn’t really have an interest and he really didn’t need to know about his sex life in the first place. Yet he had a record of coming home late at night recently with others joining him, and Akira was a bit more than thankful that everynight Morgana took his leave somewhere else, letting him have the cafe all to himself. There wasn’t any question what was happening up in Akira’s room at night, so he didn’t particularly want to dwell on the topic too long, but he at least wanted Morgana to know that his efforts were appreciated, and he could spare a couple dollars from his paycheck to get his furry friend a fancy sushi dish to make up for kicking him out with no notice so many times. 

“I don’t have time to get anything super fancy today, but I’ll see what I can grab from the store for you, I’ll make sure to get you something nicer next week.”

Morgana meowed in delight at that statement, as both of them descended down the stairs. 

With his bag and wallet obtained, Akira left the shop. 

“Good afternoon!” 

A bright voice greeted as Akira walked outside. Looking up, he saw that it belonged to the mailman that delivered in these areas. There was a smile on his face, and a small stack of envelopes in his hands. 

“Perfect timing, All of this is for you. Have a good day.” 

“You too.” Akira could barely respond before the man was off, continuing his rounds around the neighborhood. All that was left was a stack of mail in his hands. 

Most of it would be bills and coupons, he never received anything else unless it was a package from online or TV, even then his shopping had dwindled down to almost nothing lately. He didn’t have the energy to shop, or the need for anything new. Most of his money went towards savings or the club entry fee and alcohol. His hobby wasn’t a cheap one, but then again it wasn’t any worse than when he had to stock up on healing items and weapon replicas during high school. This one was far cheaper he would say. 

“Anything interesting?” Morgana had popped his body out of the bag, resting his paws on Akira’s shoulders, towering behind him to look at the stack in his hands. 

“Not that I see, just the usual….” he started, fading off when something dark blue caught his attention under a couple white envelopes. “Hmm”

Shuffling the stack in his hand, Akira pulled out the strange letter, before slipping everything else into his bag. In his hands laid a dark blue envelope, with his name, written in gold sitting in the center. All of it fixed with a red wax seal, that had an indent of a fox’s head. 

Seeing that it wasn’t just junk mail and bills, curiosity struck Akira and he took his time to open the letter, making sure not to rip the paper or ruin the wax seal. Whoever had sent this took great care in preparing it, and it would be rude not to preserve it. 

_ ‘We welcome you!’ _

Those words were the first thing that caught Akira’s attention as he pulled out the card. More golden letters sitting on an abstract background of reds and grays, and as he opened the card, a message greeted him. It was written in bright red ink, with neat and small writing. 

_ ‘Dear, Akira Kurusu _

_ I, Yusuke Kitagawa, invite you to my art show from the fifteenth to the twenty-second of July’ _

Akira read the words on the card in front of him, trying to keep track of the dates as well as where the art show was being held. It seemed to be in a popular art gallery in the heart of the city. It was a semi-formal event, and ran until midnight each night. 

At the bottom of the card was a ticket, already paid for and free to use any night the exhibit was running. 

“Woah!” Morgana gasped, reading over Akira’s shoulder. “Yusuke finally got his own art show! You’re gonna go right? You have to support him!”

Akira stood there in silence, reading over the words in front of him for another minute, before carefully putting everything back together and depositing it back with all the other mail in his bag. He didn’t really want to think about that now. He hadn’t had contact with the other Thieve’s in years and as much as it would be nice to catch up, he didn’t particularly know if he truly wanted to. It was just like Yusuke to send a fancy handwritten letter instead of a text message inviting him to his show, especially with an all paid for ticket. So he wasn’t upset that he was hearing about it through a card and not Yusuke personally. Though, Akira didn’t really know if he wanted to go as a formality, if he went he’d actually want to see his friend again and hang out. It all depended on if he’d get one on one time with him in the end. But then again, that was a rather selfish thought. Yusuke put everything he had into his art career and the least Akira could do was show up and support him after everything he had been through, he even had a ticket. Still, he would have to think about it. 

“Let’s see how this week plays out.” 

“What? You have to go! You haven’t seen him in years, there’s a ticket and everything too!”

“I just need to check my work schedule is all, I’m sure we can set aside a night.” Though it wasn’t exactly a lie, Akira wouldn’t say he was telling the truth. He felt bad speaking empty promises to his best friend, but this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have right now. 

He had a few days until the event started, then he’d have an entire week to go, so he had a little time to think about it and make his decision at least. 

Lunch passed quickly with Akira’s mind occupied. He went through his actions on autopilot, walking to the store, somehow dodging everyone coming towards him. He originally took his lunch to get his mind off of the nightmare that was still eating away at him, and now it was tucked away back in his mind, but he had a different subject to worry about. Meeting old friends, reuniting old bonds. It was barely noon, and he already felt like his energy had been depleted completely. 

It was exhausting, life was exhausting. He didn’t even understand how life could be so exhausting! He didn’t get up to nearly as much trouble as he did a few years ago, but still as the days went on they seemed to be eating away at him more and more. Wake up, open shop, close shop, go out, come home, go to bed. Repeat. It’s not like he even had a right to be mad at himself, at least Akira didn’t think so. This was the life he had created for himself. Simple, easy, no stress, just enjoyable and care free. A break from society, creating a safe space for himself in an alleyway with his cat and found family sister and father. Still, that didn’t stop the fact that no matter what he did he felt like he was wasting away. Serving your neighbors coffee wasn’t exactly fixing the world, nor was it saving anyone. It helped him to know he was putting a smile on others faces, but it didn’t help the fact that life was boring and dull. It was tiring, and gray. Nightmare Akechi was right, at this point if he kept playing his cards the same way he was going to end up with the same outcome. Wasting away, with nothing to show, and probably with a bullet through his skull. 

It wasn’t like Akira hated his life. He didn’t. He loved his job, he loved where he lived, and he loved his relationships. But it didn’t feel like enough. There was something missing, itching to be filled, and no matter how many times a night he went out to search for it he found nothing. No amount of sex, alcohol, or reckless behavior could help fill the void that was slowly eating at him. It wasn’t even like he wanted the metaverse back. It was fun living a life of justice and reforming society, but he didn’t  _ need _ it back. He needed something to cease the urge he had for danger and excitement, but whatever he did, it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. So perhaps his time had come, and there was nothing to do anymore. 

What a stupid thought. He was only 21, if he lived till he was 100, he wasn’t a quarter through his life yet! But why did everything feel so hopeless? Why was everything so tiring, draining and exhausting. Why was it no matter what he did, he was never satisfied and it seemed like the only way to actually let go and be carefree was through dangerous acts. Why was it only that his stupid decisions calmed his nerves and nothing else? Gross cigarettes that left a film on his teeth, and tasted awful. Liquor that burned his throat, but felt warm in his belly. Or there were idioitc acts, like being felt up by strangers in the dark, not being able to see anyone’s face, and only being able to feel the blood coursing through his veins and his heart beating in his ears as loud as the music being played. Those were all things that helped, but they didn’t fix it! It was a flimsy bandage on a leaking pipe, it helped for no more than a few hours. 

Akira realized a while ago this was worrying behavior, but no matter what he tried to do he felt the same. In his mind, if he was going to feel the same, and he was going to feel awful and tired, he couldn’t find a reason not to indulge in the small things that actually helped. Indulge in the things that actually took his mind off of the ever looming threat that always lingered in the corner. 

In his eyes, he was doing better. He could’ve bought two packs of cigarettes today, and he could’ve used it to help with his crabby attitude. But he was trying to quit, not like smoking cigarettes was ever really a problem. He was rarely known to buy a pack for himself, but he smoked a lot in social settings, and he never enjoyed that part of himself. So, at least there was improvement somewhere. 

He really couldn’t wait to go out tonight. 

But the time for existential thinking was over. His lunch had come and gone in a blink of an eye, and before he even knew it he was standing outside of Leblanc, suddenly very ready to get back to work to get his mind out of the endless cycle it was stuck in. 

“You’re back.” Sojiro’s voice greeted Akira as he walked back through the door.

Akira waved back, sliding a pack of cigarettes across the counter to his boss, and Sojiro just stared at him, one eyebrow raised with judgment written all over his face. 

“What’s that in your hand?”

Akira stared down at the cold can he was currently holding in his free hand. 

“Coffee.”

The elder looked down at the ground, pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a sigh. 

“You work in a  _ coffee  _ shop.”

…

Sojiro ended up leaving Akira a few hours before the shop closed, leaving him to help the late night customers and close up all on his own. Akira didn't really mind though, he enjoyed running the shop alone, plus cleaning was a breeze now that he had a system in place. The only downside was that it was only 8, and he still had one more hour until Leblanc closed, and it was just as dead as it was at noon. This left nothing for Akira to do besides lean against the counter, and mindlessly watch the TV that droned on through the shop. He wasn't picking up anything interesting from it other than it was going to be sunny for the rest of the week, with a chance of a rainstorm for the weekend. Which, he supposed it helped to know what traffic would look like in the shop, but then again it was extremely sunny today and there was almost no one in here. Knowing the weather did little to nothing for knowing the popularity of leblanc any given day.

His attention was quickly captured by the sound of the door opening. 

Akira never thought the sound of hearing a door jingle could bring joy to his ears. In seconds he was standing up straight, and dusting off his apron before looking to the recent customer that had just entered the shop.

"Welcome- wait what are you doing here?" Akira's voice sounded confused as he stared at Futaba. She was wearing jersey sport shorts with a baggy long sleeve shirt that fell off of her slender form and had her big laptop bag accompanying her. As much as her clothes seemed comfy, they looked more like pajamas other than an actual outfit. 

"Come to get some work done for the last hour the shop is open?" 

"Not really!" Futaba wasted no time making herself at home, slipping into her favorite bar stools at the edge of the counter and pulling out her laptop in mere seconds.

"Morgana invited me over for a sleepover, so I thought I'd come early and get some curry before I missed my chance. So! One large plate of curry please. Extra curry!" 

"He invited you over for a sleep over huh?" Akira tried not to let irritation seep into his voice, staring at the girl in front of him.

"One plate of curry coming right up." He turned around, deciding to drop the subject.

Akira made his way to the stove, grabbing one of the plates and filling it to the brim with rice and curry, just like Futaba liked it. He wanted to ask why she decided to come over and sleep over out of the blue, or when her and Morgana planned this, but he didn't want to sound accusatory. Still, this was not a good day, he didn't know if he had the energy to hang out with anyone one on one. It sounded so much more tempting to go make mindless conversation with a bartender and drink until his head was light and body heavy. It had been one of the only things he was looking forward to today.

"One large plate of curry, with extra curry." Akira slid the dish over, watching it land right next to Futaba's laptop.

"You're the best!" 

Silence filled the shop once more, and Akira returned to his position, leaning against the counter watching the TV. He let Futaba eat, and continue whatever business she had on her laptop. He let the comfortable atmosphere float through the air for another few minutes, but still the question was itching in his mind to why she was here in the first place. It really wouldn’t be worth it to ask, but the shop was dead and he had to find some way to make time pass quickly for the next hour, so a little conversation could never hurt. 

“So when did Morgana invite you over for a sleepover?” Akira turned his gaze to Futaba, who was currently shuffling the last bit of curry into her mouth. 

“Last night! He’s worried about you being a loner and not hanging out with anyone so he made me come over.”

The one thing he enjoyed about Futaba is was always upfront about everything. Still that didn’t help the fact that he was not very fond of the cat making plans for him. He didn’t even have any snacks or anything interesting to entertain Futaba with. Only old video games and alcohol. 

“You’re welcome to stay over, but I wasn’t prepared so I don’t have a lot for us to do.”

“That’s okay! I came prepared with a couple of movies!”

Guess that settled that. Akira was having a sleepover tonight. 

…

The night went on, and in the words of Justine, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't impressive. Akira and Futaba had settled down on his bed upstairs. He took the time to hook up Futaba’s laptop to his new tv, and let her put on whatever movie she was feeling. It was a sci-fi action thriller tonight. It was good, but Akira found himself having a hard time paying attention. His mind drifted away, as he stared at the ceiling, the movie just becoming jumbled background noise. Currently, he was wishing that he could make up some excuse to get them both to just go to bed. But, they were known night owls, usually not sleeping till well into the morning and trying to convince the other to go to bed at 11 p.m probably wouldn’t work out. Plus, she did take her time to come out and hang out, and she was more of a homebody than he was. The least he could do was entertain her. But, still here he was, laying in one place, staring at the ceiling, zoning out the world around him.

"Akira, Akirrrra, Akkkirrrraaaaa~" the voice rang in the distance even though it was right next to him.

"Hey! Akira!" The voice sang out one more time, this time a hand was lightly hitting his shoulder.

"Hmm?" His eyes drifted from the ceiling to the figure looming over him. Futaba.

The concern knitted in her brows instantly relaxed and was replaced by a playful smile and laugh as she returned back to her nest on the bed. 

"Pay attention to the movie you dummy, it's just getting good! What're you even thinking about anyways?" 

Akira laid there, eyes flicking from the girl to the side of him back to the ceiling. His mind now occupied how the conversation or night would go if he dumped his whole day out. If he started with the nightmare of him being shot in the head by Akechi, and being abused by the police like he was all those years ago. What if he moved on and talked about the invitation from Yusuke and how guilt was consuming him because there was a small part of him that didn't want to go even though he knew he had to because he needed to be there for his friends no matter how long it had been since they had last seen each other? Should he bring up that all he wanted to do today was go somewhere and act stupid for all eyes to see just to get today out of his head and to do something that he enjoyed? Talk about how he loved Morgana and Futaba, but honestly he'd rather be anywhere else in the moment? He considered all this seriously, even though he already knew the answer was no. He couldn't tell anyone, it was his issue and his issue alone.

"I'm thinking," Akira finally spoke, pushing himself off the bed and onto the floor, taking long strides to his work desk in the corner that had a mini fridge underneath it, with a milk carton of liquor to the side. "That I need a drink." 

"I see," futaba nodded a little bit, as she watched Akira's actions.

"Do you want one?" 

Futaba may have been blind to some situations, but she knew what  _ 'a drink' _ meant in this context. An alcoholic drink. And while everything was pointing towards her to say no, she still hesitated actually thinking about her anwer. In the meantime Morgana took control.

"Hey, no! That's not a good idea! She's still underage, Boss will kill you if he finds out you gave her alcohol." 

"Relax Mona," Akira chuckled, pulling out a bottle of vodka that was only a quarter full and a few sodas. "She's going to be 20 in a few months, she's not that underage."

"Doesn't matter! She's still underage!" 

"Do you want one, Futaba? You can say no, there's no pressure." Akira asked again, turning his attention to the girl and not the cat who was trying to interject.

He knew this was not one of his brightest ideas, and if word got out about this to Sojiro he would be a dead man, but he was looking to push the limits in some way tonight, spice it up somehow and this seemed like the perfect opportunity. He wasn't going to let it get out of hand, neither of them would leave the shop tonight and it would be supervised, so part of Akira couldn't see the issue with it if she did agree. Plus, he wouldn't give her more than a shot, nothing to make her more than pleasantly buzzed at most. 

"Futaba, say no." Morgana argued.

"Hmm, I have to say I've always been curious." 

"Are you sure? you really can say no." Akira asked one more time to make sure he wasn't pressuring her into anything she didn't want to do. 

"I'm sure, a tiny drink can't hurt right?" 

"Exactly, a tiny drink can't hurt." 

"I just don't think this is a good idea," Morgana grumbled in response and collapsed back onto the bed in defeat, his ears pressed tightly to his head.

After receiving permission from Futaba, Akira pulled out two cups from his small stash and set them on the desk above him. In one cup he poured a rough estimate that was equal to a shot of vodka and in the other he poured roughly 2 shots in his, starting off low tonight so he could work his way up. After doing so, he filled the cups up with soda, and brought them over to his bed. 

"Here," Akira handed futaba's drink out to her and she took it gently.

"Just drink it slowly, enjoy it and you should be good." 

Futaba’s mauve eyes stared down at the drink in her hands for a few seconds, almost like she was considering if she should go through with it. Akira sat there, watching her, wondering if maybe he did make a bad decision and it would be best to take the drink away. The last thing he really wanted to do was pressure her into something she didn’t want to do, and also the thought of Sojiro finding out was sending a chill down his spine. It was too late now though, the drink was already in her hand. He also didn’t want to drink alone tonight. It was boring when there was no one to join in on the fun. 

“Well here goes nothing,” Futaba laughed a little and looked up at Akira, raising her glass. “Cheers? Isn’t that a thing you do when you drink?”

Akira could only laugh in response, he didn’t exactly know what they could be toasting for, but he liked her enthusiasm so he nodded along, raising his glass alongside hers, knocking them together gently. 

“Cheers, to your first drink.”

Akira took a hefty gulp of his drink, disregarding his own words from earlier and trying to get as much as quickly as possible before the carbonation stopped him. Futaba on the other hand, took a small sip, slowly raising the glass to her mouth to only get a small taste before letting the cup rest in her lap. 

“Hmm, I can’t even taste anything!” 

With new found confidence from the drink not being as putrid as she was imagining, she took another drink, this time it was larger, downing a small portion of the drink, finally lowering it when the sharp taste of liquor finally hit the back of her throat, making her grimace in response. 

“That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be- oo! Tingly!” She spoke, once the alcohol swept through her body in a wave, warming her up, making her feel lighter for just a few seconds. 

"It's not so bad huh?" Akira questioned, but was happy that futaba was actually enjoying herself.

"No it's not! I think I'll have another one after this one!" 

"Whoa, slow down there. I shouldn't have even given you that much." 

...

Akira ended up making a second drink for Futaba after she made a fuss when she finished her first one. He made the same drink, a shot of vodka and soda, and handed it to her, officially cutting her off for the night once it was finished. Akira himself, dropped the mix drinks after his first, deciding that he didn't want to deal with the carbonation and instead took to drinking straight shots with no chaser. 

It was around midnight when the party really got started. Futaba had just finished her second drink and was pleasantly bubbly, she found entertainment in almost anything. It was obvious that she was buzzed, and Akira was glad that she was actually enjoying herself. While on the other hand, he was bordering on tipsy, almost drunk. Still, the both of them were having a good time, spread out on the bed giggling at their stupid jokes. 

"And, last one down the hatch." 

Akira exclaimed, laying on his back as he faced the ceiling. He grabbed the bottle and downed the last bit of vodka that was dwelling at the bottom. His face contorted at the bitterness, and Futaba only laughed at how funny he looked doing so.

"Are you done yet? I think you've had more than enough." Morgana sighed, finally speaking up after a long time.

"C'mon Mona... don' be a downer."

"Yeah Mona don't be a downer!" Futaba echoed, pulling the cat into her lap, hugging him close to her chest.

"Hey! Let me go-! I'm not just some stuffed animal-!" 

"I think he's jus' angry that he cats can' drink" Akira snickered a little bit, which caused both of them to erupt in laughter 

"You should get him some catnip for next time,,,hehe"

"What? No! There's not going to be a next time!" Morgana continued to protest in Futaba's arm, but the girl held him down with an iron grip in his lap, scratching underneath his chin and behind his ears.

"Might make ‘im loosen up ‘n... actually have some fun for once."

“I can have plenty of fun! I just can’t have it when I’m babysitting two children!! May I remind you who is supposed to be the oldest here?!”

Morgana turned his gaze towards Akira, looking very unpleased. His eyes were slanted and tail wagging erratically in the air, showing that he was getting angrier by the second, but the only thing Akira could do when he stared at the fuzz ball perched in Futaba’s lap was laugh. 

“ ‘m done- ‘m done.” He eventually surrendered, sitting up, putting both his hands up in the air. 

“No more drinking for the rest of the night... promise. Now stop being a grumpy cat.”

“That’s a start, I guess,” Morgana sighed, finally breaking through Futaba’s iron grip on him. She only frowned at the loss of warmth that she no longer had. 

“What’s even so great about drinking anyways? All it does is make you stupid…” 

“Ah, don’t be like that Mona! It’s really not all that bad. I can see the appeal for sure.” Futaba answered, still in bright spirits, while Akira flopped back down on the bed once more, letting his noodle limbs do whatever they pleased. 

“ ‘s a good distraction.” 

Akira didn't even know why he said it, but the words slipped out of his lips before he could even stop himself, and in an instant, the words reached Morgana’s ears, piquing his interest. 

“Really? A distraction from what?”

There was a silence that fell upon the room, it was tense, nothing like the atmosphere that they had going on a few moments ago. Even though it was a drastic change, Morgana was almost thankful. It seemed he had finally gotten somewhere with Akira! He could finally see what was on his mind, and what was bothering him! He could actually help him get out of his rut, he could finally be there for him. 

“A distraction from….You being a total buzzkill”

In seconds the mood was ruined and another wave of laughter flew through the room. Akira laughed so hard that curled in on himself, while Futaba tried so hard to keep it in, but couldn’t help letting a few giggles leave her mouth before she gave up completely and let it all out. Morgana could only stare, unimpressed at the two before him. Once again, disappointed, but not surprised. 

“Ooo Akira! I just remembered, I brought a video game! I finally remembered to pack it tonight! What do you say, do you wanna play it?” Futaba chimed in out of nowhere, changing the subject and losing all hope that they could get back on track to what they were talking about earlier. 

“Whatever, I’m going for a walk, you two have fun.” The cat sighed, accepted defeat. Another night, another failure. 

“Yeah, sure, I’m down.” A yawn escaped his lips, but he still pushed himself up, staring at the screen. Though if he was being honest, he did have a bit of an issue of his eyes focusing. 

The two watched Morgana leave, letting him spend his night away. Unsteady they turned their attention back to the TV. Futaba got up to sort through her bag, finding the case that held the new game she found, while Akira laid on his stomach, staring at the screen, watching at how when he didn’t move for a period of time his vision would tilt until he had to manually refocus it. 

“ ‘m gonna be honest, ‘m not gonna be great at this game r’now.” Akira pushed himself up into a sitting position, accepting the controller that was handed to him, while Futaba took her seat right next to him on the bed. 

“It’s fine! I would’ve whipped your butt even if you were sober!” She taunted in response. 

“Oh okay, you’re on then!” Akira’s gears switched instantly, all the sudden very focused on winning. 

Everything fell into place after that. Both of them spent the next few hours getting lost in the game, not even keeping track of time or anything else that was going on in the world around them. Akira was so focused on the fun he was having he barely noticed when his vision stopped tilting, and his senses seemed to clear up. Not that he paid much attention to it though, more focused on keeping his winning streak against Futaba. Futaba on the other hand was very focused on getting her winning streak back. 

It was only when dawn started seeping up over the horizon that the both of them put the game away and crawled into bed, laying there, sleepily and telling jokes to each other. It was that time of the sleepover where they knew that they had to sleep and couldn’t risk staying up any longer, still they weren’t ready to call it a night. So they stayed up awhile longer, just laying there, talking, only slipping into a peaceful rest once their eyelids couldn’t hold themselves up anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The alternative title for this chapter is 'Morgana Gets Bullied'
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Feed back is always appreciated :D!


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